At my lowest…

Today it happens to me, tomorrow it happens to you. I truly believe in karma. I really do. I wonder why I can be very patient when it comes to this. Tomorrow will be the day I will free myself from this pain. I hope I can make it through. After so much I did for them, do I deserved to be treated this way?

I won’t get even and I will give in like how I normally do. Mom ever told me. “Buat Baik Berpada-pada, Buat Jahat Jangan Sekali, Ani” It means, we must always do good (however, it depends on situation) but never ever do something bad which can hurt someone around you especially the loved ones who did a lot for you when you are at your lowest. Sigh… I always failed to listen to her, that advice. Not that I did something bad but I kept doing otherwise without thinking for myself. I tend to forget that people can change anytime just like the weather.

They always take me for granted until they didn’t realise that they are chasing away every opportunity which may lead to happiness. They take advantage of me most of the time, as and when they want. They kept hurting me again and again. And I kept giving in to them again and again. When they know that they had hurt someone but kept doing the same mistakes, that is no more ‘Human tends to make mistakes’. That is selfishness. When will they learn? When everything can’t be save and everything has come to an end? Why can’t they put in a little bit of effort and make someone happy. Doesn’t it feels good to know that you have make someone happy?

Every human has different tolerance level. For now I suppose, let them hurt me and make me cry. When it reaches the level which I can’t forgive them at all, they will then know that no matter what they try, they will never be able to amend anything at all. It’s too late. There will be a day that you will fall and I make sure that you will be haunted with guilt all your life. God is great, I know but you forget that.

My heart beat suddenly stop. I am suffocated. I can’t breathe. Get me out.

I felt like I am talking to the wall…